It wasn’t a red carpet moment. No champagne toast. Just two men, a microphone, and two years of silence broken by tears, honesty, and the quiet weight of a friendship that refused to die. On September 24, 2025, Spencer Matthews, 36, and Jamie Laing, 35 — longtime friends and reality TV staples from E4's Made in Chelsea — sat down for their first real conversation in over two years. The result? Two candid podcast episodes, released September 23–24, that didn’t just mend a rift. They exposed the fragile, human cost of miscommunication, pride, and the silence that grows between men who once did everything together.
The Fracture: A Wedding, a Marathon, and a Misunderstood "NBD"
The split didn’t explode. It seeped. It started quietly in 2023, when Jamie Laing married Sophie Habboo in London. Spencer Matthews wasn’t there. Not because he was busy. Not because he was angry. But because he assumed the invitation had been extended — and never received it. "I was pretty hurt," Matthews admitted on his podcast Untapped. "I tried to brush it under the table. I’m sure it wasn’t malicious from you, at least I’d like to think it wasn’t." Laing, meanwhile, had no idea Matthews felt excluded. "It was a small, intimate wedding," he said. "We didn’t invite everyone. We just picked the people who mattered most." But in the world of Made in Chelsea, where friendships are performative and public, absence speaks louder than words. The fracture widened in March 2025, when Laing ran 150 miles across Manchester for Comic Relief, raising £2,053,835. Matthews didn’t show. Didn’t post. Didn’t comment. To Laing, it felt like abandonment. "I waited for the phone to ring," he said. "It never did." Matthews had a different story. "I wasn’t invited," he said plainly. "And when I saw Ollie Proudlock there — who I hadn’t spoken to in months — I realized no one had told me anything. I thought about posting something after you crossed the line. But then I thought: if you didn’t want me there, why would I show up?"The Trigger: A Stag Do That Wasn’t a Stag Do
The real turning point, they both now agree, was the 2022 stag do. Matthews, sober since 2018 after years of battling alcoholism, declined the invitation. Not because he didn’t care. Because he thought it was obvious. "I didn’t go to parties like that anymore," he explained. "I assumed you understood. I thought it was NBD." Laing took it differently. "It felt like you were saying I wasn’t worth the effort," he said, voice cracking. "You were the guy who used to drink till 6 a.m. with me in Ibiza. And suddenly, you just… disappeared." That moment, small and silent, became the seed. Matthews began distancing himself. Laing internalized. Neither reached out. The silence grew. And then, the media smelled blood. "All these articles started coming out saying we weren’t friends," Laing said. "And I think that was very upsetting for both of us."
The Conversation: Two Men, Two Decades, One Truth
The reconciliation didn’t happen on a beach or in a therapist’s office. It happened in a quiet studio, mic on, no edits. Over two sessions, they walked through 20 years — from their early days on Made in Chelsea to the panic attacks Laing hid through his twenties, to the grief Matthews carried since losing his brother as a child. "I’m too sensitive," Laing admitted. "I internalize everything. I let it fester." "I know I’m not a great friend to Jamie," Matthews replied. "I shut down. I don’t say how I feel. Even now, I’m struggling to say this." It wasn’t a dramatic apology. No grand gesture. Just raw, unfiltered acknowledgment — the kind rarely heard between men raised to "be strong." "Like many men," Laing said, "I’m not always the greatest communicator."Why This Matters Beyond Reality TV
This isn’t just about two celebrities. It’s about a generation of men raised to equate vulnerability with weakness. Matthews and Laing didn’t just fix a friendship — they modeled how to repair one. They didn’t blame. They didn’t deflect. They sat with the discomfort. They named their pain. They listened. Their story mirrors countless friendships fractured by silence — a missed birthday, a canceled plan, a social media ghosting. What made their rift public was the cameras. What made it heal? The courage to turn them off. The media had turned their private pain into a spectacle. But in their podcasts, they reclaimed the narrative. No headlines. No soundbites. Just two voices, slowly rebuilding trust.
What’s Next? A New Chapter, Not a Perfect Fix
They’re not planning a joint podcast. No Instagram reunion post. No charity event together — yet. But they’ve agreed on one thing: communication. No more assumptions. No more silence. If something’s wrong, they’ll say it. "I’m not going to pretend I’ve got it figured out," Matthews said. "But I’m going to try." Laing nodded. "Me too." It’s not a fairy tale ending. It’s a beginning. And in a world obsessed with drama, that’s the most powerful thing they could’ve done.Frequently Asked Questions
What caused the feud between Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing?
The feud stemmed from two key events: Matthews wasn’t invited to Laing’s 2023 wedding, which he interpreted as exclusion, and he didn’t attend Laing’s 2025 Comic Relief ultramarathon, which Laing saw as abandonment. The deeper cause was a 2022 stag do misunderstanding — Matthews, sober since 2018, declined the invite without explanation, which Laing took as personal rejection. Neither communicated their feelings, allowing resentment to grow.
How did the media contribute to the rift?
Outlets like The Daily Mail and The Tab published speculative articles claiming the pair were no longer friends, turning a private misunderstanding into public gossip. Both men said this made the situation worse, as the narrative became more important than the truth. Laing noted it overshadowed his £2 million Comic Relief effort, turning his achievement into a tabloid headline.
Why did Spencer Matthews stay silent for so long?
Matthews has struggled with emotional expression since losing his brother as a child. He tends to withdraw when hurt, believing silence is protective. He assumed his absence from events was understood due to his sobriety, and didn’t realize how deeply it was perceived as rejection. His podcast revealed he often misreads social cues, a pattern he now acknowledges.
What role did Jamie Laing’s anxiety play in the conflict?
Laing battled crippling anxiety and panic attacks in his twenties, which he never discussed publicly. He internalized rejection intensely, interpreting even minor slights as personal failures. His sensitivity made him spiral when Matthews didn’t reach out — he assumed it meant the friendship was over, rather than a miscommunication. In their talk, he admitted he rarely voiced his feelings, fearing burdening others.
Is this reconciliation permanent?
Neither man claims it’s fixed. They described the conversations as "raw" and "uncomfortable," and stressed this is just the start. They’ve committed to checking in regularly and speaking up when something feels off — no more silence. But they also acknowledged that rebuilding trust takes time. Their goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence.
How did their sobriety and mental health journeys impact the reconciliation?
Matthews’ sobriety since 2018 changed his social behavior, but he didn’t explain why. Laing’s openness about his anxiety allowed him to admit his sensitivity wasn’t weakness — it was trauma. Their willingness to name these struggles created space for empathy. The podcast became less about blame and more about understanding how their personal battles shaped their actions — and their silence.
